Over the last several months I have talked about a lot of why I am the way I am or why I do things the way that I do. Thus far, we have talked about a lot of positives. I don't want to say that what I am bringing up today is negative, but I look at it negatively a lot.
Have you ever felt like no matter what you do your running around in circles. That it's the same thing over and over and over again?
I know lots of movie characters feel like this. They they are stuff in a loop in their life and they have no clue how to get out of it, or how to cope. Adaline, in Age of Adaline, is a great example of this.
Adaline was a normal 20 something year old in the early 1930s. She feel in love, had a baby, and was living her beautiful, but simple, life. When her husband died in an accident, she felt the first of a long live of sorrows they she didn't know were to come. Her daughter and her were able to live with the lose and built a life. However, on her way to her parent's house, during a rare snow storm in California, Adaline lost control of her car, feel in the ivy pond on the side of the road, and died. Not that long after, lighting struck the car, which restarted her heart, and changed the parts of her DNA. She would not longer age.
This bit of information would not be known to her until many years later, when it was very evident, that her age was not lining up with what her face looked like. Looking like you are in your late 20s/early 30s and your real age is in the 70s is rather hard to explain. When the government takes notice that she is not lying about who she is, and that she isn't aging, she has to go on the run. She spends the next several decades changing her name, and coming up with a new identity, so that no one is the wiser on who she is, or want to speak to her.
Adaline doesn't have many people in her life. She has one friends who is blind, so had no idea that she look way younger than she is, her daughter knows who she is, and her dog is always good a keeping secrets. Other than that, no one really knows her, and she prefers it that way. Though her daughter doesn't like that she is mostly alone. She wants her mother to find her own happiness, Adaline doesn't because she knows that there is no future with whoever it is she would meet.
This all changes when she meets Ellis.
While she doesn't want to fall for him, she does. She is faced with having to continue to live while he knows the truth, or to leave him and be alone again.
Will she choose love till death does them part, or does fate have other ideas in mind.
If you sit an think about it long enough, life really is the same things over and over and over again. You wake up and do similar things like eat, sleep, breath, blink, but that very over simplified isn't it? I feel "stuck" in my life is more ways than I care to admit. There isn't a whole lot that we can do to be "unstuck", right? To quote the movie Marry Me "If you want something different you have to do something different". Now, this is a great quote to learn from, but you can't live by it all of the time. If you do, you will cross a line of doing something different that you can't undo, or dramatically change your life and you could loose control over it.
However, this line is great for what Adaline does through the whole movie. She has a routine, she has her passions, and she is cautious about what she does do and what she doesn't do. Yes, sometimes you have to take big risks for things in your life, but really if you want something different in your life you don't have to change your whole life. Just a few small parts.
For me, I don't like my eating habits and my current walk with God. I'm struggling. I feel like my lack to talking with God is killing me spiritually (it is) and my unhealthy food and lack of exercise is killing me physically and slowly (it is). The problem with me is that I feel like in order to fix both of those things I have to over hall my whole life in order to fix them. In reality, if I commit to doing the things I know that I should be doing, and making small changes for more desired effects, it will help me. I don't have to turn over and be perfect in one swoop. I can't do things over time.
The honest truth is, when I am feeling stuff, I know it's just my life telling me that I need to look around and make some small change in my life. That could mean getting out of town to a bit, or just not eat as many fries (though that it had). Being "stuck" has been a part of my life over the last few years, however, it's been a great guiding force to learn new things, and try new things, and reach out of my comfort zone just a little bit.
It's a tool that I need to learn to wield, and fight against.
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